What kind of mother, what kind of service provider?

I read (just over half of) this book over the summer: Mother-Daughter Wisdom by Christiane Northrup, M.D. which defines 3 types of mothers:

1. non-traditional mother = turned inwards, driven to follow their inner needs in order to remain emotionally balanced and physically healthy, activating mother nurturing takes a toll unless they have a lot of practical support, they love their children but they are not biologically wired for motherhood to fulfil them at the deepest levels, often want to run to get away from the crushing responsibility of caring for a new baby.

2. traditional/natural/earth mother = having babies and caring for them is the happiest and most fulfilling activity of their life, their touch seems to automatically make things grow, they often keeps a garden and like nothing more than to create a home, bake, and be available for children, they don’t need a career or other interests, adoring and noticing babies from the start, they are at their best when pregnant, nursing, or with kids running around the house, their motherhood circuitry seems enhanced to fulfil them, they have no problems caring for many children at once, they may perceive that they are no longer needed once their kids have grown up, but keep on caregiving, by volunteering to care for their grandkids and hosting (/cooking for) family gatherings.

3. combination mother = women who want to work but are also willing to sacrifice what they love to make their kids their highest priority, because they notice that their kids need more than their current life can provide.

The book goes on to share how hard it is for traditional moms to be forced to be combination mothers, with too much emphasis on productivity 24/7. I had a non-traditional mother (like the author of this book), which is why I became a combination mother. And (like the author of this book), "my work has given me the foundation for a very fulfilling second half of life, now that" my kids are attending public school (at least for a couple of hours per day).

I've been contemplating Hexagram 41 because a book by Katya Walter (Tao of Chaos - DNA & The I Ching - unlocking the code of the universe) described it in a way that is different from the Gene Keys, (see: What you see is what you get, so see more!) which identifies Gene Key 41 as my life purpose.

From this, I was able to go back to a translation that is closer to the original i'ching (Richard Wilhelm Translation) and this is what I found (reading the lines from bottom to top, as they are intended):

• going quickly is without blame, but i need to reflect on how much this decreases others

• if i have finished my task, then i can help another, but i need to do it without making a big deal out of it, without bragging

• the people i help also need to be mindful that they only accept help without doing harm to others (me or my children/family)

• only if people are mindful in this way can offer them support unconditionally

• don't decrease myself, or i won't be able to increase the other

• if i forfeit myself, i give no lasting benefit to the other

• when there are 3, jealousy arises, and 1 must go

• when there is just 1, I will naturally attract a complimentary companion

• (i can see clients one-on-one, but only when my husband and kids don’t need me)

• faults keep well-disposed people away

• faults can be reinforced by the environment we find ourselves in

• giving up these tendencies frees others to approach so we can experience joy

• nothing can stop me from becoming successful

• everything good that i get doesn't take from others, it serves the whole

• i will be helped and the advantage that this gives me will be available to everyone

This summary is surprisingly good too:

A friend has been helping me to put things in context. What I do already matters (helping myself and my family heal), whether I see clients or not. My desire to see clients is both to help my husband pay down our debt (I allowed myself to invest in learning while home with the kids under the guise that this would be a good return on investment, when part of it was to keep me sane and give me something intellectually stimulating to think about while parenting). But I also want to grow what I know beyond what works for me and my family. A part of me thought that if I don't attract clients then what I invested in and care about doesn't matter (which my friend, above, has already assessed as false).

The other thing that I was thinking about was "if my child only goes to school 1230-310pm what contribution is she able to make to society?" and my answer: "her contribution is to show up with her needs met, well-regulated, so she is less likely to vomit her issues onto others, she is there because she wants to be there". Not everyone can do this for their kids. But I would like to help those who aspire to.

And this is where the "faults that keep well-disposed people away" comes in. People think that if school is causing their child to do or not to do ABC then the solution is to run to their pediatrician for help. People drug or diagnose their children so that they can tolerate what might not be right for them. And if I say this, I push the people I could help away...

The mountain can get angry, but it is through balance, and allowing the wisdom that has accumulated in the lake, to dissolve and nurture the mountain, that I can serve.

I hope that this is helpful and gives you some idea of where I come from, who I am, how I am set up, and how you can know yourself better too, through Unique Psychology, Unique Health, and Felt Safety.

There are people in this line of work who focus only on Unique Psychology, and this feels very self-serving, mental, and unbalanced. We may know who we are meant to be, but if we don't listen to the feedback from our body (Unique Health) and try to find balance and timing (through Felt Safety) then are we really making much progress, or is it just a lie, that will only get us so far? It's like going through life being able to see but not being able to listen or speak, people do it when they have to, but do you want to be deaf and mute when you have the option to hear and sing? Similarly, do I want to repel others, when I have the option to attract them, and experience joy, by making their life easier, more rewarding, and more fun?